Things feel too easy. I must be missing something. There's no conflict. My life is a book being written as we speak, and it makes me uneasy because I'm not the one writing it. We're in a state of rising action... rising toward what? Things seem to fall into my lap. Grades are not too terribly difficult to come by. I'm graduating early. My relationship is weird and frustrating but there's love there, so it functions. I have friends and family. I don't fight with people. Any internal questions fade from memory within hours. Something is missing. There's no conflict. I'm not afraid. I want a conflict. I want something to come fuck me up. I want to be shaken awake, and I want Life to scream in my face. This is not to say I need my life to fall to shambles, but something has to happen. It feels like I'm on a wheel: no matter how fast or slow I run, I will still be on a wheel, in the same cage, going no where. Except I'm going somewhere. A very predictable, bland somewhere. I need an upset. Knock me off the wheel, wake me up please someone something anything wake me up.
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