What a terrible, horrible weekend. I feel like I spent the entire weekend in tears, but I really didn't cry that much. I just... I missed out on a wonderful weekend with my friends and instead spent the entire weekend working at a job I hate and arguing with my best friend. I thought I would be taken out on a date, but he was just kidding. I thought I'd get to go to a park again, but that fell through. I thought I might go out, but I'm broke.

And now I'm realizing that when I want to be alone, I don't get it. Either someone is demanding my attention or someone is just floating around and I feel the need to float, too. It's not normally a problem, but sometimes I just need to fucking be alone. And when I desperately want to be around people, interacting and having a good time, they're too busy.

I feel like my life is a downward spiral. I am lonely, but surrounded. I am broke, but working. I am bored, but learning. I don't ever seem to get what I want, even if it's just something little like the right ice cream. Everything feels wrong, out of place. I feel out of place.

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