the saddest dreamscape

I had a dream last night that I was a few years older, and I had a husband and a daughter. She was only an infant, maybe a year old. I went away for a while on a research trip, and when I returned they had developed a routine together that I was not part of. He knew what her little cries meant, and they had a system. She didn't want me. When he put her in the carrier, I asked to carry her. He agreed, reluctantly. I tried not to bounce the carrier as I walked because she was asleep, but I couldn't hold it steady. I kept knocking it against my leg.

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