And I'm looking through the glass
where the light bends at the cracks,
and I'm screaming at the top of my lungs,
pretending the echoes belong to someone...
someone I used to know.
- The Postal Service
I've never gone through something that I felt the need to emotionally deal with so single-handedly before. It's refreshing, but at the same time wholly terrifying. I want to talk about it, or rather scream, but there's no one really adequate to talk to about it because I don't want to hear what I'm doing wrong, I don't want to hear stop. I just want to scream. And as it seems, being an island unto myself is apparently the only way to scream uninhibited. I have also found talking to myself to be more effective than perhaps I would like.
Last night I convinced myself that God (in whom I don't completely believe) was going to wait a while to show me someone perfect, because He knows I deserve someone perfect and He doesn't want me to waste my time with people who aren't. Do you know how comforting I found that line of bullshit? Extremely. It's pretty clear to me that I'm completely losing it.
No comments:
Post a Comment