10/31/10

passing thoughts


I'm a change junkie. I may not handle change very well, but I constantly seek it out. I guess it's just one more brand of masochism on my part.

I can't hear anything out of my left ear right now. This is glorious. The cynical part of me is reveling in the halfway silence.

Happy Halloween. I was going to be a gypsy, and it was going to be really neat, but I'll save that for next year.

My bedroom is like a death bed of sickness. There's a thermometer, a bottle of Tylenol, a dirty hot chocolate mug, a Nyquil container brutally ripped open, and socks everywhere.

Am I stopping myself from being happy because there's something that tastes sweet and a little bitter about being sad? Or are things really, legitimately, irreversibly messed up right now?

I'm always the one jumping in front of the oncoming traffic that is Life trying to fix things... so why haven't I bothered fixing things lately? I'm in shambles. One friendship is severely twisted, one needs counseling, and one is really messed up. My writing skills have taken a header. These are things I could fix. Why haven't I?

When I was dropped off at Lambert today, I looked around at all the people being dropped off by loved ones and I thought of where all these people were going, and why. Texas kept jumping into my head, maybe because I haven't really explored it much yet. Everyone was going to Tulsa and Dallas and Houston in my head, apparently. I so badly wanted to be going somewhere interesting, like where these people were going (maybe Texas, maybe not), anywhere but Kirksville. In May I'll be going to Manhattan, though, and that's pretty damn interesting.

Love Your Body Day on Friday with Kim. Manicures, pedicures, yoga, massages. Could be a not-half-bad week :)

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