I had a dream yesterday that I was sitting at a long table in a room where many people were getting up, moving around, chatting... general din. I was sitting next to a handsome young man, and we were both reading rather large hardcover books. I realized that our book covers were overlapping and I looked at him and said, "You know what, I'm really sorry, I'm cramping your style!" I scooted over so that my chair wasn't so close and I moved the book over so that they weren't touching anymore. He looked at me, called me cute and said something about my lovely brunette hair, then made the book covers overlap again.
A dream. A fantasy. That someone in this world called me cute. That's really all I want, is just to be noticed, I suppose.
Yesterday and today so far all I can think about is everything I would have done differently, how maybe I could have fixed things if only I'd done this, not done that. I know it's ridiculous because you can't change the past, and we were completely dysfunctional. But sometimes... no, I really can't continue with that line of thoughts. It'll get me in the end.
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